Proelium and Honorarius

I have felt a thousand deaths
Ground runs red, thick with blood
Feet sticking to the floor
Immersed I am, showered with speckles and drops of sun dried blood
Hair matted and caked in red
Flies buzzing around my head
Sweat rolls off my brow
Giving sweet relief to this murderous mid day sun
And yet still they come
How many must fall before they yield
Muscles strained, lungs on fire
No time to think only time to kill
Movement to my right
Sword flicks to the right, contact
With a soft thud a head hits the floor and rolls to a stop at my feet
More movement now
With a flash and a blink the battle is renewed once more
Bodies falling quicker then I can count
Stacking round me like a cord of wood
No relief, all alone, how long can I go on?
Any moment I may falter and die
But in truth I have lived out a thousand lives
All to their fullest
Sounds to my left
Spear thrusts on its own accord, contact
A soft gurgle escapes as death sets in
One more to the count
How many have I killed?
I know not nor do I want to know
Death is my calling card today
I live only to serve my King
And war is on His lips
His strength is my strength
As long as I have strength
Will be as long as I kill
A thousand have fallen
And thousands more will fall
Here I stand
Here I kill
Here is a lentil field

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Night so dark, no light, all cold, so alone…
But wait what’s that in the distance
So small, so far away, yet warm and bright
The closer I get the warmer and brighter it gets.
Soon I see the details of this thing.
Sharp yet soft, bright with light yet translucent to my eye
I see my reflection in this thing…
Could it be , have I found my other half
So different yet so alike
This shining star, this jewel of the night sky
Yes, you were meant for me
Through the veil your light shines
So blinding bright, so pure and clean
The scent of you is everywhere
The air is thick and heavy
Time seems to have slowed
I can hear every beat of my heart
Rose petals fill the air like a gentle rain
Like the ocean waves lapping the shore in the early morn
I hear the rustle of your robe as you draw near
I am filled with peace
Yet giddy as a child come Christmas day
I stand in awe and wonder of your beauty
I hold my breathe
In fear that I might wake
And this is all a dream
Come, hurry, the anticipation makes me grow faint
My beloved
Come fill my arms
For in this moment the universe groans and trembles with anticipation
Of our union as one
For you are my bride and I am your groom
Today is the end of two lives and the beginning of one life
Selah

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Here am I gazing into the Sun
The world is awash in flames
My eyes cry crimson tears
So I jump
Exploding through the atmosphere
Cleaving clouds in two
Higher and higher
Faster and faster
I scream
Yet no air to breathe
The universe is calling
Yet no one is listening
Higher and higher
Faster and faster
I come breaking through
Into the darkness called space
And behold the glory of creation
My mind is silenced
No words to speak
Onwards I speed to my journeys end
The sheer brilliance overwhelms my faculties
I am moving faster than light
Yet with each new glimpse
Time stands still and suspended I become
Entranced by the radiance of each second
For each second is a life time
Being played out in shafts of light
The memories pour forth
A kaleidoscope of sound and picture
Beginning to end
Wave after wave
Ecstasy to sorrow
And everything in between
Here I stand
Here I fall
Naked I came into this world
Naked I depart from here
I see myself
My failures
My accomplishments
Innocence lost
Innocence restored
A shooting star blazing across this midnight sky
Higher and higher
Faster and faster
I speed to an end
To begin again
Here am I gazing into the Son

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I am cutting through life on this razor’s edge.
Like a guillotine I move with finality in my wake and eternity but a babies breathe away.
I sail through this magical place called heart, soul, and mind.
The quicker I move the more so everything stands still.
My eyes are blurred yet my heart sees through the mist of time.
Such a penetration cannot be taken ever so lightly.
So I ponder and dream about the possibilities of changing this reality to one in which there are two.
For in the two there is one that no storm can tear down nor destroy.
The light is always growing and burning ever so deep.
With a speed that resounds through out all of history.
A sonic boom if you will.
That crescendos with a heart beat that is heard in both heaven and hell.
For as the hammer strikes the nail so the heart beats that much louder.
The earth groans under the weight of a father’s cry
Yet I sleep ever so deeply, sinking into the abyss called night.
Ignorant of everything and anything around this sphere I call my own.
Light pierces through this empty void within me, as stars twinkling in the twilight of my soul.
Guiding my footsteps into an unending journey.
Solid and pure this beacon of hope.
Telegraphing purpose and worth into the very fiber of my being.
Reverberating truth, inundating the cellular makeup of my body
Destroying the darkness that resides in the hidden depths and leaving behind
A love that blazes so intensely it is equal to that of a thousand suns
Hitting critical mass in unison all going supernova as one
Whatever this love touches, INCORRUPTIBLE, is engraved upon it.
Will stand the test of time, as if the letters had just been etched yesterday.
Still red hot and glowing like the embers of a campfire in the early morn.
Hot yet tempered, Cold yet fluid as water.
Life giving and death killing.
Oh how sweet of a smell this joy is to me
A fragrance that runs straight and true
Sending shockwaves of motion back into the heart, soul, and mind.
Like the ripples from a splash in a pond
So the waves crash into me with a speed quicker than foresight.
I am brought to life by drowning in peace and love.
The darkness but a specter of the past.
No power it holds over me
For I am bathed in light
And in light there is no darkness.

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The depth is deep

Deeper than the pools of night

One look and lost forever

The eyes reflect me back

All the dirt, all the shame, all the loneliness

All the fears, all the hurts, all the lies, all the selfishness

I am revealed

The eyes… Intensity like no other

Burns like white hot coals

I feel as though I am dying

My skin turning to ash

And to ash I am destined

A silent breeze blows

Into the wind the ash flows

Into the nothingness it is bound

But wait

I am here

Still held by the eyes

Yet different I am beheld

The intensity is there as before

And burns no less

Maybe even brighter still, if that’s possible

Naked I see myself

Yet no shame do I feel

Life, Truth, Holiness, and Love, so much Love

Strength, Peace, Hope, and Grace, so much Grace

Purity, Purpose, Healing, Wholeness, Sacrifice, so much Sacrifice

Complete

These eyes say no words yet speak volumes

These eyes never waiver always steady as a rock

These eyes cut as a laser yet hurts me not

Love like no other fuels these eyes

In reality the eyes are just that

Pure Love

Transparent and eternal

Ceaseless and unfailing

Those amber eyes

They consume me

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